that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
