Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
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