we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
