I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
