I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
