he shaved USA in his pubs
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We're not piercing ourselves today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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