You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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