I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
