talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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