How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
