Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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