Moan for me like Helen Keller
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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