ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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