Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
