Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I need to stop coming to work sober
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
