Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Fuck appropriateness.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
