And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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