when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
