I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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