Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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