I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
