youre lurking in front of me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
