And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
