Need sex. Gaining weight.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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