They should really pass out barf bags in church
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
