Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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