Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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