ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
