I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
