We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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