your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My vagina just recognized that song.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
