I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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