dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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