I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
