i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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