oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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