I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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