google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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