You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
