i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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