Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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