If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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