I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
being pregnant is like rehab
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
