So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
