Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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