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Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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