I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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