OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
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