Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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