Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Randomize
