Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
