If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
